Honest Reflections Part II

When Chaos Strikes

In one of my more recent posts, I discussed a bit of self-reflection about my how bitterness was hindering my progress in life. But there’s actually a follow up I hadn’t considered. What I mean is, “What comes afterward?”

So, whenever you try to exact positive change in your life, there are always waves that follow. Most of these waves are good. Especially when you associate patterns of behavior that help with your own mental well being. Like if you let things in your house go for too long, a mess piles up.

But when you address the disorder and bring it into order, something happens within you that makes you take a step back and realize, “Hey, I’m feeling pretty okay about things.” Often that feeling will encourage you do to more and more, then before you realize it, a transformation within you has taken place.

The guy staring back at you isn’t the same person you remember seeing. Then the thought of, “You know, I kinda like this guy. I want to see him every day”, happens. What took place is that we’ve accepted the good that’s always been there within us, perhaps for the first time. We dredged up someone we thought was dead from the grave and realized he never died. Rather, he is simply buried in the mess of us.

Our greatest challenge as we move through this process is just ahead. When the chaos of life strikes back. Because as we bring order into our lives, make changes to better ourselves, and improve our overall health and well-being, the waves we send out often rankle the feathers of the people around us. Misery loves company, after all.

I don’t know if it’s an instinctual reaction or something else, but I’ve noticed that the process tends to stir the pot, particularly with people who are miserable with their own lives. Maybe they feel like it’s unfair. Or perhaps the positive choices we’ve begun to make forces them to face the reality of their own situations. I really can’t say. But there’s a definite ‘malice’ involved, as Jordan Peterson would say.

It’s crazy too, because now not only do we have to contend with ourselves, but we also have to contend with other people who see the change in us and become resentful because of it. It’s no wonder life can be such a struggle. But chaos as it stands, abhors order. It’s the antithesis of it.

In recent weeks, since I’ve begun working on myself, I’ve repeatedly encountered this. At work especially, I have found rumors popping up and conversations that have reached my ears, catching me completely by surprise. In each case, the circumstances were blown so incredibly out of proportion that it makes my head spin thinking about it.

But I realize now, because I’m working to improve myself, the natural outflow of that is it tends to upset the status quo. I’m not saying this to be arrogant or make myself sound better than anyone else. I mean, Lord knows I need a lot of work, but it does appear to be a measurable thing.

So I guess what I’m saying is: Be prepared for what’s coming when you begin the process of transforming your life. There will be people who rise from the chaos to suck you into their disorder, but don’t fall prey to them. Don’t let their own misery drag you down.

As you go through this process, you’ll encounter some hard stuff. Difficult people will abound, but press on. If you see yourself drifting, correct that course and quickly! Don’t let yourself fall into the patterns that left you shipwrecked in the first place. It will be twice as hard to pick yourself up if you bash yourself on the rocks.

If you have a friend you really trust and won’t tell you want to hear, but comes at you from a place of honestly and love, take heart what they have to say. They’re the ones who have your best interests at heart. The people giving you lip service are vipers. They have no business being in your life. Their words are poison, lacking in truth, and are a detriment to your growth.

So again, be wise and expect to deal with troublesome events as you go through the process. It’s definitely worth doing. Each day I learn more about myself and laugh a bit more than I used to about things I never could. I may stumble, but that’s okay. Change is never easy for any of us, but as long as we continue working to make ourselves better today than we were yesterday, then we can look forward to tomorrow.



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