Updated: Mar 27
Here I am again where negative always seems to find me. I just need a new start where I can feel like I can succeed. My family is on me to settle down, and I'm just wanting to find my own path. Not that it matters to them being honest is wrong.
"Kristy your mouth always gets you in trouble."
Sigh, what would they like from me then to never talk? I watch as they basically lie to each other, and yeah that is so wrong! My brother says that I am just too intense. He calls it intense, and I call it passionate about my beliefs.
Now, dating, don't even get me started! Sure it should be easy, but shouldn't men have a brain past their penis? Such a turn off when they start with that first in a conversation. Like how do they know that I'm not a psychopath? Sometimes I question if any man has intelligence. Whatever happened to treating a woman like a lady? Granted my family would again blame this on me.
My grandmother, bless her heart. An old school farm girl. "Kristy baby if you would put some makeup on, and get out of those Jean's you could get a man."
As she says this I just want to say I want a man, not no damn child. I don't want to stay home, and pop babies, as my man is stuck on the television so unappealing. I just want a man with a mind. Like, let me see your mind. Like, talk to me about the stars, and or the universe just something meaningful.
So I'm going to ignore them, dating can just wait. Sure they love me, but do you think they say anything about my art? Hell no cause I'm not famous, "eye roll." It kills me like I'm a smart lady, but it never seems good enough to them. In my family, if you have no penis, you have no voice. It's so annoying as hell. So I'm packing my bags, and hitting the road. I don't care what they think of it either.
I had been working as an assistant manager for a small shop for over a year now. When I found out that I could stay with the company, but move to a different state I was like hell yeah! Found some friends, and it's time to do some road tripping.
For the first time, I had a plan, or I thought I did. Since we were taking one vehicle, and I'm the smallest one. During the road trip, guess who got stuck riding with the dogs? Yes, you guessed it, me.
The trip was horrible and my friend Alex ended up sick. It was a 25 hour trip from Arizona to Georgia. Oh did I mention the culture shock of all the green grass?
So let me back up. Here I am road tripping with Alex, and my boss Allie. So Allie told us this home of hers was huge. So we are thinking how great right? When we finally got there, Alex and I walked into disgust! This place was so filthy, and I totally squealed cause I saw a roach!!!
"Allie this place is nasty!"
“Oh yeah, Alex and Kristy I forgot to mention, I need your help getting this place clean."
We both sighed in disbelief. "Excuse me do we look like your slaves?"
"Kristy it's no big deal."
I am so beyond pissed, cause one, I don't do bugs, and two, I feel like we got tricked into this. Thankfully I was no dumb girl. I got Alex attention late that night. Apparently, she already had a plan as she found a place. We were both determined to get ourselves in better situations. I had the money, and she had the plan. The only thing we didn't have was a vehicle. Alex knew what we had to do, but it wasn't what I expected. So Alex is a lesbian, and her ex-girlfriend lived near us.
"Kristy I know what we could do for a vehicle just come with me."
We ended up at Victoria's house, her ex-girlfriend. Apparently, they had been talking about getting back together. The good news Victoria had a vehicle. The bad news for me is I'm not sure what I'm doing jumping from one plan to the next.
All I knew is I was a single woman on a mission to live however I saw fit. Story of my life, something always goes wrong. I don't understand it cause I try to be a very positive person. I suppose the good is I always figure things out.
So Alex, and I go to start our new job. Of course, Alex had to get her girlfriend on too. Yep, you guessed it, again I get screwed over. Since Victoria had more retail experience, she took my higher paying manager position which meant I took less pay. I was mad, but at least I'd have plenty of hours, and I was still comfortable.
I was single, and I didn't care. We bailed on Allie without paying rent so we could move into our new home. So yeah Allie started making threats, but they were empty ones. All of us girls went out and celebrated a new place, and a new start. Alex, and Victoria relationship at having a second chance, and me getting away from negative and controlling family.
So here we are at a club dancing our hearts out. It never fails now a lecture from my friends. Not really a lecture, but hey I know a cute guy.
"Kristy I know this really really cute Dr."
"Your point is what? " Yes, I am rolling my eyes, even though I do appreciate them.
"Kristy you are just so damn picky, he is cute, smart, and single."
I am trying to bite my tongue, but let's be real. "Victoria what I want don't exist." Victoria and her confused look. "Look what I want is a smart, good looking man, yes, but no man is going to be smart, good looking, and be rocking in the bed. I want it all."
Victoria started to laugh so hard. " Oh my Kristy, are we frustrated much?"
I begin to roll my eyes, and yes I am beyond sexually frustrated, damn it's been two years! "Fine fine I'll meet him, at least maybe I can get laid."
They all laugh, but I was serious dang it!! As the night went on I was still feeling misunderstood by even my friends now. All I wanted was to travel, and see where the wind took me is that so bad??