• Matt Brown

Voice of Doubt

As I sit here trying to sort my thoughts my mind is stuck on a comment a friend made today. He was talking about how he questioned his ability to do a certain task and do it well. The thing is, I find it ironic because this person is someone I admire a lot.


I’ve heard their story, talked with them about their struggles and watched them grow as they strive to succeed in their chosen career path. For me, I feel it’s a blessing, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t a little envious. I think if we were honest, it’s only natural to be that way. Still, I celebrate my friend’s success.


It’s also got me thinking about who we are in our quietest of moments. My friend’s confession about doubting himself, and his abilities, reminds me of how important anchors are. It reminds me that we all need someone to encourage and lift us up in our weakest moments.


In my own life, I have to remind myself about this daily. I have to look at my reflection in the mirror and tell myself: Keep going, the best is still ahead.


When you’re hungry for something you fight tooth and nail for it. You push and push, reaching out with all your might. Sometimes you might drive people crazy with it, but when you are consumed with your passion it can be overwhelming.


When the passion wanes, as it is want to happen from time to time, we find ourselves in a very different place. We find ourselves in a deep valley, uncertain how we got there. When these low points come, we feel like we can’t go on. The journey suddenly feels hopeless, even if it only appears that way.


For some, it’s a constant up and down struggle. For others, it’s a gradual slope, but no matter where we’re at, all of us at some point find ourselves traversing the valley. It’s one of life’s certainties. But when it’s time to climb, we must have the strength and perseverance to reach the summit.


I wish there was simple answer, solution or some sage advice I could impart, but the truth is each of us faces very different challenges in our lives. There is no quick simple cut answer to solving some of the doubts we let creep in (and they will creep in). If could say anything it would be this: You are not alone, you aren’t the only one dealing with this and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


The negative voice we so often hear, the one that sounds like us, it’s not the real us. I may have said this before, but it’s true. We still listen, because we trust ourselves above anyone else. The thing is, we don’t have to listen. We get to choose, even if it seems bleak. We can still choose how we tackle the day.


In my own life, when I stare at the mirror or sit down somewhere and look at what’s ahead, the fake me, that negative voice in my head, is screaming. It’s like a blanket gets thrown over me and like a freight train, the doubts start coming in. It can be so crushing.


I want to be published, to share my work with others. I want to see them laugh, cry and possibly curse me as I pull some dastardly story hook they never saw coming. I want moments that I can treasure with my readers as I shake their hands.


I want to be able to help a fellow author get the break they have spent so many lonely nights crying into their pillow about. I want to leave a mark. But to get these things means that I have to fight hard and work even harder.


I mean, one way to say it is: The harder the journey, the greater the opposition.


No one else will believe in your vision or dream as much as you. So by whatever measure you value this dream, the intensity you exude will be a direct reflection of that. I’d be lying if I hadn’t said I haven’t had sleepless nights or tears over who I want to become.


But when I listen to the stories about those who have come before me and taking in how hard they had to fight to get there, I’m reminded that the journey was never meant to be easy. So, if you’re having a tough day or doubting yourself, stop. Take a look in the mirror and remind yourself of who you are. You are beautiful, talented, and incredible. That voice, that fake you that’s whispering otherwise; take a moment and tell it to step off. Scream it as loud and as often as necessary, you have got this.


To my friend, the confidence and exuberance you exude is as inspiring as your story. Never doubt yourself, you’re doing fine. Your best is yet to come, the worst is already behind you.


Regards,

Matt Brown

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